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One Side: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, labels herself the “creativity monarch”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of casual, DIY content creation.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the details, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their friendship?